Time....

It's been a while since I last posted.

Lots of things have happened.

Some small, some mind-blowing.

Mostly, all good things.

Mind-blowing: My daughter confided in me that she is seeing a 61yo black man.

I'm ok with everything except how old he is.  It's hard for me to wrap my head around. I know she's 30yo but my mother instinct is that he is a predator of young women.   I'm sure he's not, and I'm positive that my daughter is a better judge of character than that, but still....

My youngest son has moved to college and is doing fantastic. I really couldn't be more proud of him.  I am, however, holding back a grief so large that it literally makes my heart hurt when I think of how he will never be as close to me as we were when we lived in Louisiana. It breaks my heart.

My oldest son is still living at home, no job, no ambition, but with a heart as large as Texas and I fear he will never get out on his own and yet I secretly embrace him being with me.  It's very confusing and very hard to feel he needs to be kicked to the curb so he will learn responsibility and yet want nothing more than for him to stay with me forever.

My mom has finally adjusted to living with us and we are really happy.  The first year had some rough patches but we love each other too much to allow anything to get in the way.

My husband and I are in a great place..we are getting along better than we ever have and I believe we both have finally grown and compromised and fallen in love all over again these past two years.  He is my world.

Babies

My baby boy is graduating high school on Saturday.

Where in the world has the time gone?

Why did I not get more pictures?

Why can't I turn back time and get just one more "feel good hug" from a 4 year old JC?

I am so incredibly proud of him.

He has turned into a one-of-a-kind-generous-kind-hearted-level-headed-responsible man.

I really can't ask for more.

But I always do.

If I could wish for one thing, it would be to have him back with me.

I miss him so much at times, it physically hurts.

 He is destined for great things.

And I am proud to be his mom.

Hmmm....

So, a couple of blogs ago, I posted about waiting for the inevitable....the inevitable shoe to drop.  It's been dang near a month since then and things are still good.

Not much has really changed either.  I'm still looking for work, actually I did get a job at Home Depot as a cashier (not my ideal job, but a job nonetheless) Jules is working at McDonald's and still being very respectful and helpful and freaking me out really....Rob's happy, helpful and actually been willing to work on the house some which is a little freaky also.  Mom's been good except for right now with her UTI and flu...Jackie had knee surgery and we spent 5 days in Dayton so I could take care of her, it was wonderful to get to spend that quality time with her...JC is doing well...

So I'm still amazed at the quiet, peaceful existence we have been living...I sure hope it doesn't end anytime soon.

Paint

Kitchens and bathrooms are the worse rooms to paint.

I did not realize this when I went and bought paint for the kitchen.

We began last Friday, tomorrow it will be 7 days and have not completely finished the painting.

I had a MAJOR FAIL today painting the trim around two doors and a window.  I thought I had painted them really well, in fact, I thought to myself..."I sure wish Rob was here to see how well I painted this."

After I finished, I took a very small brush, like the kind that comes in the paint-by-numbers water color kit and went over to some trim that had previously been painted to do some touch up.  When I started to touch up, I immediately noticed that the paint looked gray!

UGH!!!! GRAY...THAT IS THE COLOR OF THE PRIMER!!! UUUUUGGHHH!! I HAD JUST SPENT 2 HOURS PAINTING THE TRIM IN THE PRIMER!!! 

So, I waited for it to dry and then painted the trim in the correct color and due to my over-zealous priming, I will have to put on a second coat :/

Waiting for the Inevitable

Even though I was laid off, things have actually been going really well.

It really scares me.

Inevitably, whenever I become too happy, too content, all hell breaks loose.

I always hope that nothing will happen....sometimes I think I may even self-impose the hell just to have some type of control over it.

I sure hope that this time, for whatever reason, things do not go bad.

I really enjoy being happy and content.

God's Plan

Getting pretty frustrated with the job situation.

I thought I had found the perfect job.

I thought it would be long term.

One month after being hired on permanent, I am laid off.

I just wish I knew what is God's plan for me.

Parenthood

I miss him.

I don't think I will ever forget the hurt he caused.

I don't know if I will ever forgive him.

But I miss him.

Beginning of the End....Start of the New

December 2, 2011

That is the date .
The date that was the beginning of the end.
The end of a toxic situation that went on for far too long.
It is also the start of a whole new beginning.
A fresh, new, wonderful, scary beginning.

I could not be any more proud as a mom and as woman.

She took the bull by the horns and even though the fear was almost paralyzing....she pushed through and I have no doubt in my mind that she will be even stronger, better, happier than she can even imagine.

March 14th is the final hurdle to jump.  I will be there, quietly giving my support, quietly cheering her on and sharing with her the sadness of the end of a life that she had known since adulthood.

My baby is an amazing woman and I could not even begin to express how incredibly grateful I am that God blessed me with her.

I look forward to the next 30 years watching her continue to grow, develop and love.